Posted by Pascal on October 23, 2019 at 8:17
Being in a long-distance relationship is no joke. Ask anyone who’s ever been in one.
In fact, almost half of long-distance relationships end in a break-up. That’s akin to the toss of a coin.
But that also means that the other half of couples stays together. And that’s pretty good considering all the challenges these relationships face.
So, to avoid being on the wrong side of this statistic, let’s look at what they do. What makes their relationships work? How do they manage to keep the flame going past the miles? What can you learn from their successes, and apply to your own long-distance relationship?
“Out of sight, out of mind,” the saying goes.
It might sound cliché, but this maxim exists for a reason.
Couples, in general, interact a lot. Even those who don’t seem very close. Think about it. If you’re living together, your partner is the first person you see in the morning. You can exchange a few quick words of encouragement before starting the day. They’ll give you a quick kiss before heading out and you’ll let them know you care about them.
And in the evening, you get to talk about how your day went. Vent a few frustrations. Cook together and pause your TV show when you have a question about the plot.
In a long-distance relationship, you don’t have of those. Well, not exactly.
It won’t be the same, but you can still recreate those little interactions.
And luckily, you have a plethora of options to do so. From texting, to What’s App and Skype, the opportunities to touch base with your loved one can be plenty.
Spread those interactions throughout the day and week, just like you would in any other relationship. Just like that, you’ll have the same amount of contact you’d normally be comfortable with.
While keeping in touch is important, you just don’t want to go overboard with it either.
Think of one thing that happened today that you’d like to share with your partner. It should be easy.
Now, think of ten.
It’s harder, right?
If you are trying to fill daily two-hour video chats with everything you’ve been doing, you’ll soon run out of things to say. Conversations could become repetitive. And after a while, you won’t be looking forward to them anymore.
Keeping it short and sweet is completely okay sometimes. You’ll just have to work with your partner to find the balance that works for you two. You neither want to miss them, nor get tired of them.
The Internet is amazing if you want to keep in touch with someone halfway across the globe. Instant messaging and video calls probably have helped thousands of long-distance relationships already.
But how did you feel last time you received a letter with your name handwritten on the envelope?
That’s a special feeling, isn’t it?
Everything is being digitalized. Snail mail has become something exciting to receive and rare enough that you remember who sent it to you. If you sent a letter to your loved one, you can be sure they’ll appreciate the gesture. Plus, they’ll have something tangible to hold on to. A reminder of you that’s not in their smartphone.
If letters aren’t your thing though, you still have lots of options. From gift baskets to flowers and a subscription to some delivery service, there are lots of ways to let your partner know you are thinking of them.
Intimacy and physical contact suffer from the distance. Nothing surprising there.
But it doesn’t mean you can’t still do intimate things together.
Thanks, once again, to technology, you can recreate date nights. Whether it be watching a movie together, having a “face-to-face” dinner through Skype or even preparing said dinner, feel free to get creative. How about talking a walk together and showing each other places you like around your respective cities?
And intimacy doesn’t need to stop there, you know.
How far you take things is entirely up to you. Just make sure there is mutual trust in the relationship, if you choose to do so. You can also opt for an app that automatically deletes photos and videos when they are open.
It doesn’t even have to involve full-out nakedness. With the distance, your partner’s creativity will be in overdrive and their mind eager to fill in the blanks. Even naughty text messages will get a reaction.
In short, do what you are comfortable doing with your partner.
You already know long-distance relationships to be challenging. But when you don’t even know if you are going to see each other again, they can be nigh impossible.
Making plans for a future date is not only something to look forward to. Sometimes it’s an insurance for your relationship. It’s what compels you to call your partner after a fight, when ignoring them would be so tempting.
Depending on how far from each other you live, you could plan some weekend getaway together next month. Or a visit on their birthday. Or invite them to your family for the holidays. Or even book a vacation on some exotic island next spring.
Whatever you choose, however far into the future, it will be an insurance you’ll see each other at some point.
All these activities, from the little daily contacts to the big plans, will help you counter one thing.
The number one reason long-distance relationships fall apart.
A relationship that is not progressing.
When you ask people why their long-distance relationship failed, a staggering amount of them tell the same thing: they felt their relationship was stagnating.
If you want to go the distance – pun intended – you’ll need to grow together. Both as individuals, and as a couple.
Are you learning from each other? Strengthening your emotional connection?
If you can’t picture a future together, no matter how close or how far you live from each other, your relationship will face unfavorable odds.
But if you can make sure your relationship grows and evolves with you, celebrate. It means you’ll most likely be able to work through the disagreements, the lack of physical contact, the travel expenses, and any other obstacle long-distance relationships face.
It means you can make it work.
Just remember: all relationships take work. In your case, the work needed is a little different. But it is not unsurmountable. And if you’ve found someone great, someone you want to share your future with, then distance should not scare you. Even if you are not living together, you can absolutely have a meaningful, beautiful relationship too.