Posted by Pascal on February 16, 2022 at 15:14
One of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is the relationships you leave behind in the process.
Because yes, you lose more than one:
After a break-up, you will always wonder to some extent: “Was this the best person for me?” “Were we meant to be together?” or even “Was my ex my soulmate?”.
And it hurts. It is not easy to come to the realization that your ex might have been perfect for you under different circumstances.
That leads to regrets.
If your ex really is your soulmate, you would want to know. Not only to get some degree of closure, but also because it gives you a chance to try and make him come back or to get her back.
To help you along, here are 10 signs your ex might be your soulmate, and what that means.
Not every separation is the result of months of frustrations, constantly getting ignored by your girlfriend, or having irreconcilable differences with your boyfriend.
Sometimes you each go your separate ways because that’s just the way life is:
And then of course there is the very common occurrence of relationships stalling because you get too comfortable or complacent. Stuck in a rut, you forget that a relationship needs work and attention to flourish.
The common point in all these scenarios is that your ex is not the reason you broke up. Call it external factors destiny… life. Life is why you are not together with your ex.
It is possible to break up with anyone. You can even break up with your soulmate.
You and your ex might belong together, and under different circumstances, you would still be dating them.
Stressful events – like breaking up with someone – can really bring out people’s true colors.
You may even have experienced break-ups where your ex turned vindictive, said hurtful things, or refused to talk to you.
Not this time.
When you and your ex manage to handle the separation in a respectful way, it shows a few things:
If you think your ex is your soulmate, this is what you would expect: a break-up that, strangely enough, leaves a good impression.
But also, the impression that things might not be completely over, that a door has stayed open.
Maybe it’s not so much that your ex was not good for you. It’s just that they were not the best for you at that specific time.
And that if you wanted to, you could possibly get back with your ex at some point.
Interpersonal relationships are not always easy.
There is always a chance for misunderstandings, lack of communication, and a bit of hesitation at talking about difficult things.
Yet, not with your ex.
For some reason, they always understood you. Your ex immediately knew if you had a bad day or a good time just by looking at you. Communication felt effortless.
That in itself is already a pretty big sign your ex could be your soulmate.
But it is even bigger if you still feel that way after the relationship is over.
Even after the break-up, and even if you started dating other people or developed a crush on someone new. The only person you still want to confide in and bounce ideas off is your ex.
Realizing that you are still trusting your ex so much feels strange. At first.
Because over time, the thing you will come to understand is that you feel this way because there is a big chance your ex is your soulmate.
If you recognize yourself in several of these signs, your ex must be a very special person for you.
And by the looks of it, the bond you have with your ex is still there, waiting to be rekindled.
If you do not identify with the above statements, it probably means that the connection you had with your ex is not here anymore – if it was ever there. But it is still a great thing to have in your life.
Just because your ex is not your soulmate does not mean you cannot find someone like that. Right now, on Vidamora, there are thousands of singles looking for their soulmate too. Maybe you will click with one of them.
When you get close to someone, you also get close to their loved ones.
Over the course of your relationship, you probably met your ex’s family. Their friends. Some coworkers even.
Each of these people represented a connection. An interpersonal relationship that you developed through your ex.
A potential friendship, but also a possible source of conflict.
You cannot get along with every single person you meet.
So, it is something truly special if you find yourself connecting with your ex’s family. There are all these people, with their own lives, their own relationship with your ex, and their own personalities.
And you fit right in.
You know this is not common.
The opposite could be true as well: even if your relationship is over, your ex still talks to your siblings. Your mom still invites them for lunch, and your dad still asks for updates about their lives.
If you notice all these signs, it means you and your ex were connected on a deep, deep level.
To the point that your ex is your soulmate? Maybe.
But even if you were not meant to be with your ex, it looks like you can still nurture a very satisfying relationship with them.
And that, in itself, is already quite precious.
It would be overly ambitious to expect your partner to share every single opinion you have on everything.
Even in the best relationships, there will be some differences in the way you both think and view the world.
However, your core values weigh heavily on the potential success of your relationship. The more values you share with your partner, the better the match, and the more potential for you two to go the distance. You can even visualize growing old with them.
As you probably guessed it, this does not happen all the time.
Quite the contrary, actually.
More often than not, you will learn to compromise on a few things to keep the relationship alive. Until, that is, the divergences are too big to ignore.
Some of the most common causes for breaking up with someone have to do with those core values. It is very hard to negotiate on these:
Now, if you find yourself agreeing on all of these with someone, it means a lot.
Even if that person is your ex, you will probably want to hang on to them. You might start having thoughts like: “Hey, maybe we were meant to be together…”
And sometimes, you will be right. Your shared so much in terms of values because your ex was your soulmate.
Similar to values and personality, goals and ambitions shape a relationship in big ways.
All these questions about where you want to go are relevant in a relationship, because both people need to answer them.
If your goals differ, it basically means that your partner and you want to go places… but different places. Unless you both are able to compromise a little bit, you might end up separated. It will really test your relationship.
On the contrary, if you share the same goals as your partner, you will both face the same objectives. You’ll be able to work together, and look to the future in the same direction.
Even after breaking up with your ex, you might still share these same goals.
That means you will probably get to the same place at one point or another.
When you get there, who is to say that life won’t bring you back together then?
If that happens, take it as a sign. Soulmates often say they were brought together by “destiny,” “fate,” or “life”. In reality, they were living their life in a way that made them walk towards the same goals, and towards each other in the process.
And so, maybe you and your ex will end up drifting towards each other again.
Because your ex might be your soulmate.
When relationships end, negative feelings are pretty common:
But by far the most common thing that happens is that you simply disappear from each other’s lives. There is no more hanging out. No more texting. And forget about a phone call.
However, sometimes – and it is not that often – you will experience the opposite.
Your ex keeps in touch with you. And you are happy to listen to them.
Likewise, they are happy when you text them.
There is no lingering anger or contempt there. Just good feelings that come with getting updates about the life of someone you care about.
But it can go even further: every once in a while, you will find yourself wishing the best for your ex.
You want them to achieve their goals that they worked so hard to get. You hope they get that promotion, travel to the places they love, and make new friends.
You would even be glad to know they are dating someone new – as long as that person makes them happy, of course.
What is happening there? Are you just being super mature and noble?
Perhaps you are.
But the most likely explanation is that your ex is just a fantastic match for you. This is your person. You click with them.
Maybe this means your ex is your soulmate, you know.
If you have ever been on a first date, you know how stressful they can be.
Before even going on your date, you spend hours thinking about it and getting ready for it. Picking the right clothes and texting.
Then during the date, you always try to look your best. To not say anything stupid or embarrassing.
You do that because you don’t want the other person judging you.
This feeling can stay with you for a long time, even after you start dating that person. You might not be able to completely relax around someone. It happens.
With your ex, however, things were different. You very quickly felt comfortable around them:
All these are big signs that your ex is your soulmate. Especially if you felt it early in your relationship.
When two people can naturally “vibe” and fit together like that, it is truly wonderful isn’t it?
It is one thing to be happy in a relationship when it is just beginning: the thrill, the discovery, the anticipation with butterflies in the stomach… You probably don’t worry about much during the first few weeks or months of your relationship.
You simply have a good time with your new partner, more often than not.
It is another thing when the excitement starts to wear off.
You might realize that your partner, like every other person on this planet, is not perfect. They do things that get on your nerves. You might even argue once in a while. But the relationship can usually chug along nicely if you have no irreconcilable differences.
But how did your ex react when you shared good news? Were they truly happy for you? Supportive? Or did they get jealous or annoyed that the spotlight was not on them?
It goes without saying that if your ex was always right by your side during the good times, and vice versa, your connection was deepened. A deep connection is what soulmates usually share.
Finally, perhaps the most important test is how you handled difficult times. Hardships, tough times, rough patches and stormy seas.
Were you able to pull together as a unit and make it through?
Difficulties alone do not mean that you had a bad relationship. Even soulmate relationships have ups and downs.
What is significant, however, is how you faced these ups and downs as a couple. As a team.
Successfully handling a bad time together is another sign that your ex can be your soulmate.
No matter how hard you look, no one is as good, as charming, as perfect for you as your ex.
That sort of feeling is normal immediately after a break-up – especially if you did not want to break up with the other person.
But it is much less common to feel that way months (and even years) after a relationship has ended.
Maybe it is not because your ex was so much better than all these other people you have met since then, but it is because they are so much better for you.
You might even know that, rationally, these new people are amazing. Like when you meet a nice woman or an amazing guy, who is good looking, with lots of personality, a great job, similar hobbies… on paper, they are the perfect person to compliment your life.
Yet no matter how much you want to make this new relationship works, something is missing.
Something that you had with your ex, and that you cannot find in that person again.
And there is nothing really wrong with that. You can be sure that even though great person is not your soulmate, they are definitely someone’s future perfect partner. Just not yours.
If it happens over and over, date after date and relationship after relationship, it points to one thing – one person, rather: your ex.
If your ex is your soulmate, it is not so shocking that you cannot find anyone as perfect for you as them!
First of all, let’s get something out of the way: you are allowed to feel this way.
Knowing that you can find someone else to make you happy does not mean that it is an easy thing to do. There are more soulmates out there for you, sure, but maybe the time is not right to meet them – because you are still thinking too much about your ex.
Now that the air is cleared, let’s get to the solutions.
You have basically two choices:
If your ex is your soulmate, and you are not together anymore, it is going to be painful.
That is why you can’t move on right now. Dating other people is also probably too hard because you keep comparing them with your ex.
What this means is that you need to learn to feel good again before being able to turn this into a positive.
And for that, you need one thing: time.
You need some time alone, and possibly a break from dating because all that does is make you think about your ex.
Remember: You can always ask for help – from family or from professionals – to understand yourself better, to be happy by yourself, and to just be able to enjoy your life.
Only then will you be able to slowly accept that your ex is no longer a part of your future, even if you think they are your soulmate.
If you have the option to communicate with your ex, you can send them a message or ask to meet up.
It does not need to be anything fancy. Even a coffee in the park will do just fine.
What you want here is to clear the air and tell your ex how you feel.
You do this, first and foremost, for yourself. By admitting your feelings to your ex, you will not live with constant regrets and spend the rest of your time wondering “What if I had said that?” or “What if I had done that?”
And you are not even trying to get your ex back, but to be true to yourself and how you feel.
However, in the process, you might discover that your ex feels the same way. And if they don’t, you will still receive something important: closure.
So, go ahead. No matter what you chose to do, you have nothing to lose.