Posted by Pascal on September 11, 2019 at 8:37
Human interactions, no matter how young or how experienced you are, are an essential part of our lives. This stays true in your fifties, sixties… all the way to your nineties! Whether you have been single for a while or were recently separated and haven’t dated in a long time, you have every right to want to form new relationships. And dating over 50 should still be fun, stimulating, and exciting.
In the second half of your life however, some things may be different than they were 20 years ago. Here’s a quick look at how to navigate the online dating scene when you’re over 50.
Of course, nothing is stopping you from meeting people the traditional way. But if you want to maximize your exposure to potential partners, you should try online dating. As Jim Meehan puts it: “People used to go to bars to find dates, now they go to bars on dates”. And the first step will be to work on your online profile.
A good, polished profile will attract more people. Better people even. If this is your first go at online dating, it might seem like an intimidating endeavor. But don’t let it paralyze you.
A successful profile has a few key elements:
One of the best ways to have something interesting to write about on your profile is to do interesting things. Make yourself someone you’d like to meet.
Being over 50 is a great time to pursue your hobbies and discover new things. Other interesting people are genuinely attracted to someone who is doing something with their life.
With an interesting life, and a great profile picture, you’ll be surprised how many people will find you attractive. Younger people, older people, and people you might not have considered normally.
Don’t let it stop you. Not much differs between a mature 39-year-old and a dynamic 70-something. Just because you’re dating and over 50 does not mean you can’t date younger or older. You’re not in your 20s anymore, when dating meant looking for someone to spend your life with and raise a family. You now have more options.
You could look for someone to have fun with, someone to be friends with, or even someone to get married to, if that’s what you want. In your fifties and sixties, you have choice.
To make this process easier, don’t make an exhaustive list of everything you’re looking for. Rather, focus on a few core attributes you think would compliment your life. It makes decisions easier. And don’t let your own insecurities limit who you could date. You’d be surprised who will find you attractive!
Even if you can make great connections online, your goal should still be to meet people in real life.
You can prepare for this step by looking your best and choosing the right place to meet. But once you’ve gotten past the awkward first five minutes of small talk remember one thing: keep the conversation positive.
Don’t dwell on negative experiences.
If you’re over 50, you have a history. If you and your date both have a controlling ex-partner, or issues with your teenage kids, it might be tempting to bond over this common point. And the conversation might flow smoothly too. You might have a memorable time sharing with someone who understands what you’ve been through.
Until it’s time for a second date, and neither of you really feels like it should happen.
See, while you were talking about all the negative events you two have in common, you didn’t talk about your positive experiences. You didn’t share your vision for the future. The whole encounter became tainted with a negative tone. Maybe you learned something about your potential partner you wish you hadn’t. Or perhaps you feel too embarrassed by something you shared to see them again.
First dates should be light. They should be fun. You both should come out wishing to know more about each other. Leave the serious talk for later, when you’re comfortable with your relationship. If it goes well, you’ll have plenty of time to share your past traumas in a more meaningful and secure way for both of you.
Dating is different now than when you were younger. You know this already, but it bears repeating.
Behaviors such as breadcrumbing, benching, or cushioning may have always existed, but they are now so prevalent they have their own dictionary entries. If you haven’t experienced rejection in a while, this is where you might get hurt.
But it is worth persevering.
If you’re new to online dating, there will be a learning curve, but you’ll soon get the hang of it. With experience, you’ll bounce back from rejection fast and get closer to finding your ideal mate. Remember that rejection probably has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally.
On the other hand, take the time to get to know your dates. Don’t discard potentially great partners and friends too quickly. And even if every encounter is not perfect, keep at it. JK Rowling got rejected by 12 publishers before selling millions of copies of Harry Potter. James Dyson created over 5,000 failed prototypes before finding success with his vacuum cleaners.
If you just stick with online dating, you will meet amazing people and develop beautiful relationships. And even if the rules of dating when you’re over 50 are different, the rewards are well-worth persevering!
So go ahead, choose a beautiful profile photo. Write about yourself. Date new people, make friends, find a lover, or someone to feel cozy with. Consider partners outside of your usual comfort zone. Date someone much younger than you, or older if you want. Hang out with people you wouldn’t have spent time with in your thirties. Lead the conversation to positive topics. Have some fun. And start here.