Back

Back

6 Dating Red Flags You Should Watch for at the Beginning of a Relationship

6 Dating Red Flags You Should Watch for at the Beginning of a Relationship

In dating, everyone you meet comes with a lifetime of experiences, mannerisms, and quirks. So, when you start dating someone new, you need to figure out if their personality is compatible with yours.
 

The issue is that people usually don’t volunteer their potentially undesirable traits at the beginning of a relationship. In order to discover what they are truly about, you often have to rely on indirect, more subtle clues.
 

Some signs are good, like a partner who is great with kids, or caring and attentive. Other signs… not so much.
 

Should there be any serious issues with the person you are dating, you’d want to find out early on. You wouldn’t want to spend months dating someone new only to find out – after much pain and suffering – that the red flags were there all along.
 

Quickly and correctly identifying these red flags is crucial to your dating success. The only issue is that toxic people are often great at putting up a façade. They make great first impressions because they have to.
 

To protect yourself, here are 6 of the most common red flags they will show early on. Identify these at the beginning of a relationship to avoid being taken advantage of.

 

#1 They Are Rude or Disrespectful to People Who Serve Them

This is a great warning sign to be aware of, as you can often catch it within a few dates.
 

Wait staff, bartenders, or shop attendants are being paid to be there and serve. Because of that, a lot of people feel there is no need to impress them.
 

But that is not a reason to treat them badly or be any less courteous than you would be with anyone else.
 

Be wary if your date shows undue impatience, talks to them as if they were inferior, or get angry when the staff makes a mistake. They are showing you their baseline, how they behave when there is no need to impress someone.
 

Right now, they might be putting their best foot forward to seduce you. But soon, you will be treated the same way that waiter was on your very – bad – first date.

 

#2 Their Actions Don’t Match Their Words

Look at what people do, not what they say.
 

Manipulators are great at love bombing and make you feel great by telling you everything you want to hear.
 

But whenever there is a conflict between their words and actions, a small red flag should pop up in your head. While the values they proclaim might be aligned with yours, their true nature might not be.
 

They could say they value honesty above everything else, but you repeatedly catch them in a lie. Or they tell you that they love you just as you are but make a hurtful joke about your weight. Or promise to always be there for you but flake out on your plans without an explanation.
 

It is hard to accept. We really want to believe what they tell us because it feels great.
 

That’s why this red flag will probably be raised by your friends and family. They are more impartial and fairer in their judgement. If you hear them raising concerns, don’t brush them off.

 

Dating Red Flags You Should Watch for at the Beginning of a Relationship

 

#3 They Are Trying to Put Distance Between You and Your Loved Ones

Your friends and family often see red flags before you do. To better control you, a toxic individual might try to isolate you from them.
 

They might make small demands at the beginning, and then ramp up their need for control. Saying things such as “You can’t go out at night without me,” or “I want to spend Saturday nights with you,” which might seem reasonable, will turn to “You can’t text any other woman (or man)” and “I need to have your Facebook password.”
 

The more dependent you are on them for social interactions, the more uncomfortable you will be about breaking up with them.
 

You can protect yourself against this type of behavior by keeping strong contact with friends you can trust, and only making concessions you are 100% comfortable with. If your new partner doesn’t trust you without supervision, it’s like a big red flag telling you that it’s time to end this new relationship before it’s too late.

 

#4 They Tell You a Secret or Badmouth their Friend Behind their Back

There are two issues with this type of behavior.
 

If they are repeating someone’s secret, they are breaking their confidence. That person trusted them with something they didn’t want repeated. And they turned around and did it anyway.
 

The second issue if you ignore this red flag is that, down the line, you expose yourself to the same behavior on their part. Only this time, they will share your secret. Or talk badly about you.
 

That is not a good character trait in a partner.

 

#5 They Have a History of Short Relationships

It is always interesting to learn about someone’s past relationships, as it is a good predictor of how they will behave when they date you.
 

If someone has no close friends, or does not talk to their family anymore, and has never really had long term relationships, tread lightly.
 

Sure, some people decided to start a new life in another city or needed to cut ties with toxic family members. But more often than not, if all their relationships seem to fall apart within a few months, wherever they go, and it’s been going on for a while, the common thread is them.
 

Do you really want to be the next person on their list?

 

#6 Their Ex Receives 100% of the Blame for their Breakup

This is an easy trap to fall into. If they list you all the things their ex did wrong, you might think: “I can definitely do better”.
 

But it is a serious red flag nonetheless.
 

In any situation, even the worse ones, there are things we can learn. Maybe we started fights that should have been avoided or stayed in the relationship longer than we should have.
 

If a relationship has deteriorated over time, both parties are usually partly – but not equally – responsible.
 

So, when you hear your new date take no responsibility whatsoever for that situation, it shows a lack of self-awareness and self-reflection. They have not used this as an opportunity to grow, learn, and develop a better relationship with you.

 

Maybe this is not a dealbreaker for you. Maybe none of these red flags are, by themselves, enough to discard a new relationship. But if you notice them, it might be a good idea to make a mental note of them.
 

See if what you identified as a red flag was a one-time thing, or if there is a pattern.
 

Identifying potential signs that you are headed for a troubled relationship is a good way to protect yourself. Sure, not everyone you date is out to manipulate and use you. Just try to stay aware that if a date looks too good to be true, it might just be.
 

Avoiding these bad relationships will improve your chances of meeting someone whose values are more aligned with your own. Someone who looks out for your best interest and is an ally when you need them. Who supports your projects and is a positive addition to your life.
 

That person is out there. Good look for them!

Did you like this article? You can share it for your friends to enjoy

Articles you might like

30 of the Biggest Things that Turn Women On

January 13, 2021

30 of the Biggest Things that Turn Women On

Flirting without knowing what turns a woman on is a bit like trying to drive to Florida without a GPS: unnecessarily complicated.   Look, you don’t have to learn every single way to turn on a girl to be successful in dating. But you have to know at least a few.   Attraction is very personal. And the tru...Lire la suite

How to Attract and Date Younger Women – Is It Worth It?

May 13, 2021

How to Attract and Date Younger Women – Is It Worth It?

For many men, picking up younger women on dating sites or in real life is not only a matter of personal preference.   Sometimes you live in a small town and there is just too small a pool of single women to date.   Also, there is the fact that as you get older, people around you get into long-term relationshi...Lire la suite

5 Signs Your Partner Thinks Your Relationship Is Boring

March 26, 2020

5 Signs Your Partner Thinks Your Relationship Is Boring

Relationships tend to mirror life in many ways. Busy periods of frantic activity and emotions precede more quiet and introspective times. A rush of excitement often accompanies the beginnings of a new relationship. After that, we often relax a little bit and tend to settle in a comfort zone, a routine. This is where we ca...Lire la suite

Clingy Boyfriend Warning: 6 Signs Your Guy Is a Little too Extra

May 18, 2022

Clingy Boyfriend Warning: 6 Signs Your Guy Is a Little too Extra

Relationships and romantic feelings often bring out some pretty intense behaviors.   Off the top of your head, you might already be associating budding romances with wanting to text your boyfriend as soon as you wake up, thinking about him all the time at work or at school, and jumping at every opportunity to hang o...Lire la suite

Most recent articles

Has he really changed? Is he just pretending? 10 signs he has changed for the better

September 13, 2022

Has he really changed? Is he just pretending? 10 signs he has changed for the better

Relationships do not always have to be linear: first date, second date, dating, moving in together… Sometimes life has other plans for you. You might be too busy for a relationship. Or your boyfriend moved to another city and you find long-distance relationships too hard.   Short breaks from romantic relation...Lire la suite

How to Make a Girl Feel Special – 10 Ways To Make a Girl Feel Loved

September 12, 2022

How to Make a Girl Feel Special – 10 Ways To Make a Girl Feel Loved

So, you’ve got a great girl in your life? Congratulations! Being in love can be one of the best feelings in the world.   If you are like most guys, you probably want to do all you can to make this girl feel loved and special. To show her how much she means to you, each and every day. Which quickly brings an im...Lire la suite

Should You Break Up with Your partner? When it is time to call it quits

May 31, 2022

Should You Break Up with Your partner? When it is time to call it quits

Look at any relationship between two people, and you would be hard pressed to find one that has not had any rougher patches. Even couples who look perfect on the surface have most likely had struggles, experienced ups and downs.   That is simply how life is between humans.   And that is why you don’t th...Lire la suite

Clingy Boyfriend Warning: 6 Signs Your Guy Is a Little too Extra

May 18, 2022

Clingy Boyfriend Warning: 6 Signs Your Guy Is a Little too Extra

Relationships and romantic feelings often bring out some pretty intense behaviors.   Off the top of your head, you might already be associating budding romances with wanting to text your boyfriend as soon as you wake up, thinking about him all the time at work or at school, and jumping at every opportunity to hang o...Lire la suite

What to do when your girlfriend wants a break, 13 things you should know!

March 16, 2022

What to do when your girlfriend wants a break, 13 things you should know!

You may not really be happy to discover that your girlfriend needs a break. No guy is ever ready for that, really.   So, if that is happening to you, just know that the unpleasant feelings you are experiencing are normal.   First of all, you should know that this is a common situation – albeit not a fun...Lire la suite

Why men come back months later, 8 reasons to help you understand men

February 23, 2022

Why men come back months later, 8 reasons to help you understand men

When your ex comes back into your life long after your separation, you might feel a few ways about it: You might be intrigued, especially if you had little to no way to know what they have been up to. Curiosity is human. You could get mad. How dare he feel so entitled to your time and attention that he thinks he can ju...Lire la suite

Is my ex my soulmate? 10 signs showing this might be possible.

February 16, 2022

Is my ex my soulmate? 10 signs showing this might be possible.

One of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is the relationships you leave behind in the process.   Because yes, you lose more than one: There is the relationship you had with your ex, of course, Then there are also all the mutual friends and their side of the family, with whom you often lose touch,...Lire la suite

My Girlfriend Won’t Talk to Me. 5 Solutions to Recover from This

February 2, 2022

My Girlfriend Won’t Talk to Me. 5 Solutions to Recover from This

Is there anything more frustrating than being ignored by your girlfriend and not knowing how to talk to her, or even why she is not talking to you?   If there is, it must be something really, really frustrating indeed.   Yet, it happens all the time. Even in relationships that seem to be going well.   ...Lire la suite

10 Signs Your Ex Is Trying to Make You Jealous and How You Can React

January 20, 2022

10 Signs Your Ex Is Trying to Make You Jealous and How You Can React

Ah, relationships!   Like them or not, they often make us go through all sorts of emotions. Sometimes we are not even in control of them.   Where you used to be a completely rational and even-keeled individual, you now become a bit of a mess. So to speak. Emotions can sometimes prevail over your more logical ...Lire la suite

How to Be a Cool Guy – Tips for a Better, Cooler, and Happier Life!

January 12, 2022

How to Be a Cool Guy – Tips for a Better, Cooler, and Happier Life!

Most men around the world will have a few things in common.   Young boys in school try to learn about fitting in with their peers. Teenagers wonder about growing their first beard. Adults in their twenties are curious about having a good career… and so on and so forth.   But there is one thing that pre...Lire la suite

Free dating website registration logo

Is it your first time?

Sign up! It's 100% free!
Do you already have an account? Log In
Email Address
Username
Password
Confirm your password
Terms & Conditions
White Vidamora's logo

© 2023 |

Terms & Conditions