Now comes the tricky part of asking for a second date.
If you’ve already asked her out before, you’d think this should be easier. Well, that’s the theory, at least. But it doesn’t mean this is a trivial matter either.
Getting a second date is crucial to the success of your potential relationship. That is when things start to get a bit more serious, as it confirms a certain level of mutual interest.
So, in this article, we’re going to cover all our bases. From how to ask for a second date, to when you should do it and how much time should pass between your first and second date. Keep reading to find our best tips.
Maybe it’s a little cliché, but it bears repeating: You first date will set up the stage for your future relationship success.
If you have a bad first date, there is no point to even consider setting up a second date. Take it as a sign there will be no second date and move on with your life.
But your first date will be more than just having a good time. It will also give you two key opportunities to get a second date.
The first is an element of discovery. First dates allow you to get to know the girl you are going out with a little better. Through your interactions with her, you can discover a bit about her hobbies and the things that she is into.
All of this is useful information if you want good second date ideas. When you ask her out, she will be much more excited by the idea of doing something she loves. So, make sure you ask her interesting questions that allow you to know what she is into.
And remember her answers!
The second opportunity that a first date gives you is right towards the end.
When you are parting ways, or even a bit before, you can show her that you had a good time with her. Additionally, this is a good time to mention you would like to see her again. Sometime.
Now, a lot of people seem to want to hide the fact that they enjoyed their date. There is no need do that.
While it seems to make sense, on the surface, this is a bad dating strategy. We think that if we don’t show our enthusiasm for someone, we will somehow save face if we get rejected. In fact, we are increasing the odds that we will get turned down. This is actually a sign of our own fear, sabotaging our relationships.
So, if you feel good on your first date, feel free to show it. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?
Okay, you had an amazing first date, and the feeling seems mutual. You’ve let the girl know that you enjoyed her company. You also told her that you’d like to see her again.
The trick now is to leave it at that.
Yes, planning for your second date right away might seem like a good idea. You know, like striking the iron while it’s hot.
But you should refrain from doing so. And here is why:
If you are too overeager to lock a second date in, it might turn some girls off. They might start to wonder if you have nothing else going on, and if you are a bit too desperate to get with her. In addition, people need a bit of time to cool off between their first and second dates. You know, the same way you’d gladly eat an ice cream now but would need some time before wanting to eat your second one.
So, just say that you’d like to see her again “sometime” or “soon”, that will be enough.
What you say to your date before parting ways should follow four rules:
If you are still unsure of how to go about it, here are some examples:
You get the idea. The main point is that you should customize it to your date and the things you guys talked about.
Alright, you now have laid all this groundwork during your first date. You know what she is into and can start planning what to do next. It’s time to learn how to ask for a second date.
There is a goldilocks zone for when you should ask for a second date.
As we’ve seen, too soon could very well turn her off. It’s a little overly enthusiastic and can come across as being pushy.
Instead, you should really wait a couple of days. Two or three seems to be the general consensus, although you can stretch it an extra day or two if the situation calls for it.
Keep in mind, however, that you should still keep in touch with the girl during this time. These next few days are a perfect opportunity to keep a playful interaction with her through text. Send her a casual message here and there, nothing serious, add in some teasing, some joking around, and remind her how cool of a guy you are and why she should be excited to hang out with you again.
In short, don’t ignore her.
Naturally, the conversation will progress towards making plans for your second date. You’ll notice that maybe she starts responding to your texts a bit more quickly. Or that your interactions are positive.
That’s when you should ask her out on a second date.
Don’t wait too long if you reach this point. You want to avoid the conversation dying down – which will naturally happen if you let it drag on.
When it’s time to confirm your second date with a girl, remember two things:
You don’t want to send her a message the same day asking her to meet you after work. Nor the day before, for that matter.
When you wait until the last minute, she might not see your message in time to meet you even if she wanted to. Plus, she will likely have other plans and you will look disorganized. Unless she strongly hints that this is possible (with a message like: “I have no plans for this weekend, you got anything fun for us to do?”), avoid doing this.
There is no need to slate a date too much in advance.
And for one simple reason: if you confirm your second date too early, many things can – and often, will – happen between now and then. She might get invited to something better, forget, or have a change of heart about seeing you again.
Plus, while you may have interesting things to say, it will be hard to maintain a good interaction without seeing her for such a long time.
In any case, you would have to go through the small talk and confirm the date again two or three days before the actual second date.
Better to only do it once.
If you are following correctly, you calculated two or three days between the end of the first date and the moment you ask for a second date.
Add to that another two to three days to the actual date, and that comes up to… about a week, give or take.
And that works well, as most people will have free time on the same days every week.
So, if you met her a girl for the first time on a Saturday, you should plan to see her again the following week. Anytime between Thursday to Sunday seems reasonable. It’s not too fast that it looks desperate, and soon enough to keep the momentum going and build positively on the first date.
Now comes the most exciting, and for some guys, the most stressful part.
The moment you ask a girl to see her again.
It is a bit stressful because there is always this element of doubt at the back of your mind. What if she says no?
But you shouldn’t worry. If you’ve read the situation correctly and kept the interaction fun and playful, you should have a rather good idea of what her answer is going to be.
Nevertheless, there are still some ways you can trip up.
There are many ways a guy can mess up when he asks for a second date. Rushing things, waiting too long, or not showing enough excitement are some of them.
But, though annoying, they are not as bad as the following mistake: being too vague.
Here is how that might look:
“So, wanna hang out again?”
“Hey, are you free on Friday? Shall we do something?”
You might already see what the issue is here: These messages are lazy. You haven’t made a real effort to invite her, almost like seeing her is an afterthought.
They also don’t show that you have really given this second date much thought. She’d have to be really into you to agree without knowing anything else about the date. They also imply that she will probably have to work to plan the date. People agree to things when you make it easy for them, not harder. And so, without proof that you can take the lead, she might simply say no to your invitation.
This mistake hurts the most because, had you taken the time to make solid plans, she would have said yes.
When it comes to it, asking for a second date is simple.
Remember these three key elements of a successful ask: what, when, and where. And maybe “why”.
“What” should be something she will enjoy. Luckily, you should have no problem coming up with something original. Even something as common as a restaurant date will become more interesting for her if you know she is into Mexican food, for example.
The “Why” is simply stating the reason you want to invite her. It can be that you want to show her something great, you found an experience you’d like to share with her, or just that you are excited to spend time with her again.
The “When” and “Where” are simply the logistics of the date. It shows that you took the time to think things through. And it makes it easy for her to say yes. All the planning work has been done. The only question she needs to answer is “Do I want to go?”
And if you did everything else correctly, she will probably say: YES!
July 16, 2019
So, you are finally meeting that special person you met online in real life? Congratulations! Making the transition from a computer screen into the real world is a very courageous move. Indeed, it takes an exceptional and bold person to take the relationship a notch higher, considering that everything so far has been vi...Lire la suite
June 17, 2020
In dating, everyone you meet comes with a lifetime of experiences, mannerisms, and quirks. So, when you start dating someone new, you need to figure out if their personality is compatible with yours. The issue is that people usually don’t volunteer their potentially undesirable traits at the beginning of a re...Lire la suite
February 23, 2021
Tall girls stand out. Literally. Of all the qualities you could notice in a girl, her height is one of the most obvious. While it might be common knowledge that some women find tall guys attractive, men do not seem to have the same affinity towards dating taller women. You’ll occasionally hear about a guy dating a...Lire la suite
December 1, 2021
If you have experienced any kind of human interaction, then you must have also experienced some sort of conflict. People fight all the time. We fight with our colleagues, we fight with our friends, even with our best friend. It is hardly a surprise, then, that if you have a girlfriend, you also fight with her from ti...Lire la suite
April 19, 2023
Abandonment issues are really one of those things that can derail even the most promising relationships. They usually show up early on, and almost always have a harmful impact on your dating life. If you have ever felt insecure in a relationship, afraid that someone was going to leave you, or like you might not be...Lire la suite
September 13, 2022
Relationships do not always have to be linear: first date, second date, dating, moving in together… Sometimes life has other plans for you. You might be too busy for a relationship. Or your boyfriend moved to another city and you find long-distance relationships too hard. Short breaks from romantic relationships ...Lire la suite
September 12, 2022
So, you’ve got a great girl in your life? Congratulations! Being in love can be one of the best feelings in the world. If you are like most guys, you probably want to do all you can to make this girl feel loved and special. To show her how much she means to you, each and every day. Which quickly brings an importan...Lire la suite
May 31, 2022
Look at any relationship between two people, and you would be hard pressed to find one that has not had any rougher patches. Even couples who look perfect on the surface have most likely had struggles, experienced ups and downs. That is simply how life is between humans. And that is why you don’t think about br...Lire la suite
May 18, 2022
Relationships and romantic feelings often bring out some pretty intense behaviors. Off the top of your head, you might already be associating budding romances with wanting to text your boyfriend as soon as you wake up, thinking about him all the time at work or at school, and jumping at every opportunity to hang out wit...Lire la suite
March 16, 2022
You may not really be happy to discover that your girlfriend needs a break. No guy is ever ready for that, really. So, if that is happening to you, just know that the unpleasant feelings you are experiencing are normal. First of all, you should know that this is a common situation – albeit not a fun one –...Lire la suite
February 23, 2022
When your ex comes back into your life long after your separation, you might feel a few ways about it: You might be intrigued, especially if you had little to no way to know what they have been up to. Curiosity is human. You could get mad. How dare he feel so entitled to your time and attention that he thinks he can ju...Lire la suite
February 16, 2022
One of the hardest things about breaking up with someone is the relationships you leave behind in the process. Because yes, you lose more than one: There is the relationship you had with your ex, of course, Then there are also all the mutual friends and their side of the family, with whom you often lose touch, An...Lire la suite
February 2, 2022
Is there anything more frustrating than being ignored by your girlfriend and not knowing how to talk to her, or even why she is not talking to you? If there is, it must be something really, really frustrating indeed. Yet, it happens all the time. Even in relationships that seem to be going well. Just because your ...Lire la suite
January 20, 2022
Ah, relationships! Like them or not, they often make us go through all sorts of emotions. Sometimes we are not even in control of them. Where you used to be a completely rational and even-keeled individual, you now become a bit of a mess. So to speak. Emotions can sometimes prevail over your more logical and composed...Lire la suite
© 2024 |Terms & Conditions