Posted by Pascal on May 13, 2021 at 14:54
For many men, picking up younger women on dating sites or in real life is not only a matter of personal preference.
Sometimes you live in a small town and there is just too small a pool of single women to date.
Also, there is the fact that as you get older, people around you get into long-term relationships. With fewer and fewer available ladies your age, you have more chances of finding a suitable partner for a serious relationship if you expand your criteria to include younger women.
Dating is not only a numbers game, but most single women are younger. So if you expand your criteria to date younger women, you might increase your odds of finding your soulmate. It’s just math.
However, if you are really interested in dating younger women, you will also need to learn how to attract younger women.
While it is not rocket science, here is a bit of advice to help you get on your way.
This almost goes without saying, but it can’t hurt repeating: your looks matter in dating. They matter if you want to date younger women, they matter if you want to make women chase you. If you want to date any women, work on your appearance.
Of course, a clean look, with a nice haircut and some crisp clothes, always goes a long way.
Now, there is a bit of a dilemma when there is an age gap: do you dress the same way as men your age, or do you dress like younger men to attract younger women?
On the one hand, dressing like guys your age will feel comfortable. But it might not be appealing to younger girls.
On the other hand, dressing younger than your age will fit the demographics that you are trying to appeal to. But it might make you feel uncomfortable and out of place.
Well, there is a trick to solving this predicament: choosing intemporal items and clothing. A nice pair of jeans, fitted shirts and shorts, classic suede shoes, and even a clean blazer are all timeless. They will allow you to feel as good as you look, while attracting younger women too. Double the benefits!
Again, this should almost be a given. Attractive bodies will attract more women. Much of seduction is based on how you look.
However, as you get older, you might not have as much time and stamina to stay in shape. But you should still try to find a way.
Whether it means working on your diet, or making time to go for walks or lifting some weights, any move you make towards a healthier and stronger body will increase your odds of attracting women younger than you.
You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt, though.
What you want is to be in a good-enough shape to date someone younger and keep up with her in her daily life.
A younger girl might be interested in you any number of reasons. Be it for your looks, your confidence, your financial status, or your experience.
But none of that matters if she thinks your life is boring.
What reason would she have to date you if your lifestyles are incompatible?
Of course, that does not mean that you have to go skydiving every weekend (unless you really like it). But if you want to date younger ladies, they need to see that you would be willing to go out with them and do things together.
A great way to do this is to join communities of people who love the same things as you. Be it hiking, movies, reading, playing sports, or simply painting.
Plus, group activities attract people of all ages. Who knows, you might meet someone great there, killing two birds with one stone!
If that does not happen, write down your interests on your dating profile, it will show potential dates that you are not a couch potato.
For many, a quick way to meet people to date is to ask their friends if they know anyone who is single.
It has been happening since the beginning of times, and many couples have been created this way. After all, your friends probably know if someone would be a good match for you. Friend groups are great for matchmaking.
However, if you want to find a younger girlfriend, this method has its limitations.
For one, your friends are probably around your age, and so are the people they know. Occasionally, they might set you up on a blind date with a younger girl, but that will remain the exception. Not the norm.
This means that you might have to venture out on your own. Make your own connections, and meet women without relying on your friend groups.
Of course, if they recommend someone, stay open to the possibility. But that should not be the only strategy you employ to meet younger women. Or any women, indeed.
Sure, you might have a wealth of experience and knowledge that she, because of her age, does not.
But her age can never be a reason to treat a girl any differently than you would treat other, older women.
Even young women in their early twenties generally know what they want out of a relationship, or life, for that matter. You should never try to dictate how to live her life and act based on your own set of values or desires.
If you think she is old enough to date, she is old enough to be treated like an equal.
Respect her point of view and decisions the same way you would if you were dating someone your own age. You both have the right to view the world differently and express your point of view.
Being condescending, however, is never a turn-on for women, no matter how young they are.
The counterpoint to the previous argument is that age is just a number, really.
Sometimes, you will find a young woman who is perfectly capable of offering emotional support, intellectual stimulation, and a true partnership.
But the opposite can also happen. And that is okay.
If you notice that a girl is not quite ready for a mature relationship, there is nothing wrong with just walking away.
Just because her ID says she is a certain age does not mean that she has learned to deal with every situation the way a more mature person would. If your only reason for dating a younger woman is because you are attracted to her youthful looks and energy, and you overlook her emotional maturity and her character, you might not be able to find a fulfilling relationship.
Dating younger women should not only be about youth, but also compatibility and complementarity.
This might be the number one worry of guys who date younger women: “What if I am being creepy?”
And that is a legitimate concern. The bigger the age gap, the more you actively seek to not be “that guy”.
Fortunately for those of us who struggle with social cues, there is a way to prevent this from happening. And it does not involve asking for an external opinion.
Whenever you are trying to seduce a younger woman, you need to look inwards. Ask yourself all the reasons why you want to date someone younger, and check if they sound reasonable.
Do you want to date a young woman because you are physically attracted to her? That is understandable. Your tastes are what they are. Just like some men like dating tall girls.
Do you find that they usually have more energy and match your dynamic lifestyle better? That also sounds perfectly justified.
If, however, you find yourself thinking that younger women are simply easier to impress than women your age, or that you can manipulate them because they are naïve and don’t know any better, stop a minute.
This way of thinking is not only morally wrong, but once people figure out your intentions, they will definitely view you as the “creepy old dude”.
If you really want to attract younger women, you need to be rock solid and stable.
Women will not date an older gentleman if you only add drama to their lives. The older you are, the more you are expected to be emotionally stable, consistent, and confident. That is attractive in a man.
You should also learn how to lead a relationship without being overbearing. For this, developing your confidence will be key.
A younger woman would probably get disappointed if she had to confirm dates, find things to do, or set the pace of the relationship. If you are older, she might reasonably expect this responsibility to fall on you.
Likewise, keep your emotions in check at all times. Reacting to disappointing situations with anger, panic, or bursts of emotion are okay when you are young; but it is much less attractive as you get older.
Give her the emotional maturity that is hard to find in guys her age, and you will be very attractive to a younger woman.
Let’s be honest.
If you date a younger woman you expose yourself to uncomfortable situations. People can, and will absolutely chime in with their unsolicited opinions and comments.
It is possible that you will suffer from people staring, or making snarky remarks. “He could be her father,” “He must make good money to date a young lady like that,” and the like.
Don’t let them decide on whether or not you should date someone. The thing that matters is that you, and her, are happy, fulfilled, and growing positively together.
The only opinions you should listen to are the ones coming from trusted friends and family. Strangers’ opinion on your relationship don’t matter.
However, there are still situations you should be aware of.
If you show up at your girlfriend’s girls’ night out in a club for twentysomethings, things will get awkward. And there may be times, such as birthday parties between friends or family reunions, when it is better to take a back seat and not invite yourself.
As discussed in the beginning of this article, there are many things you can do to be more attractive to younger women.
From your clothes to your attitude, any improvement helps.
What does not help, however, is not acting your age.
Whether it is trying to hide your wrinkles and receding hairline, or putting on an act in an effort to “fit in” with a younger crowd, this is usually counterproductive.
Sure, looking and acting “young” matter, but not as much as you might think. What matters far more is staying true to who you are. Strength of character.
That is attractive.
No matter how much you work on yourself, on your look, and on your personality, not every younger woman will be attracted to you. That’s okay.
While it might feel rough getting rejected solely based on your age, it is something you need to learn to accept. Rejection is par for the course if you try to date younger women.
Here are a few strategies to help you deal with it:
If you do get rejected by a girl you are interested in, accept it gracefully. It will allow you to leave things on good terms and shows a level of maturity that is always welcome, refreshing, and attractive.
The mere fact that you are older means that you have more authority in a relationship with a younger woman.
Of course, in time, this power imbalance will tend to lessen. But until then, you need to keep a watchful eye on how your actions and requests are perceived.
When you ask a young lady on a date, is she only accepting because she views you as an authority figure? Can your “suggestion” to go eat at a restaurant be viewed as a “demand” by your date?
From your point of view, it might not seem like a big deal. But from the point of view of a younger woman, this might make her want to avoid dating you.
So, how do you fix that?
Do your best to always show a safe, relaxed, and non-threatening attitude.
Being the nice older gentleman that is safe to be around not only is attractive, it also improves your existing relationships. Showing understanding and always doing your best to remain loving, caring, and non-domineering are great ways to get on people’s good side.
If a young woman feels like she can relax and be herself around you, she might also picture herself dating you.
The older you get, the more set in your ways you become.
That is not just a cliché. It is scientifically proven: according to studies, openness to others and to new experiences gradually declines in your thirties and after. And this is true for both male and female genders.
That means that if you date a woman younger than you, she is likely to be more adventurous and social than you are.
To keep her interested in you, you will need to make a conscious effort to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. To try new things that you wouldn’t normally do.
If you don’t, you run the risk of drifting apart from your girlfriend if you never join her on activities she is interested in.
Just like dating women your age, attracting younger women – and dating them – is a fine balancing act.
You need to correctly calibrate your approach to not seem too pushy, but confident enough. You also need to accurately read social cues. To not mistake politeness for signs of interest. And to step off the gas pedal if your flirting makes younger women uncomfortable or worried.
All that, mind you, while finding a style and a look that does not “date” you but still fits you. So, nothing that clearly marks you as “older” and no trying to be someone you are not.
That’s a lot.
Thankfully, like most things in life, it is a set of skills that can be practiced.
You might fail as you learn the ropes of dating younger women. Just like you might sink a few times when you dip your toes in the waters of the dating pool, regardless of the age of the women you are dating.
None of that should keep you from trying again, though.
You might not feel like it sometimes, but you will improve. You will learn to adjust and adapt to younger women. To be more confident.
The great thing about this is that even if you get great at attracting younger women, you can still date women your age, or older women. Just because you are learning to date younger women does not limit you.
Quite the opposite: it expands your choice of potential partners.
Statistically speaking, it is virtually guaranteed that someone, somewhere, will be a great match for you. Maybe you have already found her?